Best Ghosts characters, ranked (2024)

They’re all much-loved, but we’ve managed to rank the BBC comedy’s main 15 characters from worst to best.

See where your favourites figure in our spectral countdown - and feel free to haunt us for all eternity if you disagree…

15. The plague victims

Lurking in the basement of Button House are an indeterminate number of ghosts who died during the Black Death and were buried in a plague pit beneath the cellar. Centuries spent next to the boiler have made them experts on the house’s antiquated heating system, which comes in handy.

Amusingly, the plague ghosts have a particular dislike of Julian (although he eventually pulls one of them), but believe Thomas is a local celebrity. One of them, a little girl named Jemima, sings creepy nursery rhymes in the pantry. They were last glimpsed in the finale, delighted that the cellar had been converted into a hotel sauna.

14. The neighbours

"Bitches!" Don’t worry, it’s just Barclay Beg-Chetwynde (Geoff McGivern) calling his dogs. The arrogant toff and his alcoholic wife Bunny (Sophie Thompson) are Alison and Mike's nosy neighbours, with whom they have a land dispute over access roads. Braying Barclay always gets Alison's name wrong, calling her "Annabel", but comes good by bonding with Mike and donating toys for the cash-strapped couple’s nursery.

13. The ghost pigeon

The show’s only non-human ghost is a pigeon which died after one of Barclay Beg-Chetwynde’s "bitches" caught and killed it in the Button House grounds. It continued to fly around in phantom form, nesting in Mike and Alison’s bedroom, driving them mad with its coos and refusal to be shooed away.

12. Annie

Played by comedian Bridget Christie as a sort of proto-feminist, Annie is the ghost of a Puritan woman who died in 1711 by choking on a piece of bread. She haunted Button House prior to the first season, but is seen in flashback form.

She formed an endearingly close friendship with Mary, her closest historical peer, teaching her how to speak her mind. The pair insulted men with relish, even though they couldn’t hear them. Annie eventually moved onto the afterlife and was much missed by Mary, so the ghosts still celebrate the "Annieversary" of when she got "sucked off".

11. Lady Button

Best Ghosts characters, ranked (1)

"A lady does not hold a carrot like that!" Lady Stephanie 'Fanny' Button (Martha Howe-Douglas) is the Edwardian lady of the manor who’s distantly related to Alison, hence her inheriting the house. She was pushed out of a window in 1912 by her adulterous husband George, who was "found upon the groundskeeper, with the butler upon him".

She’s fuzzily visible in photographs, earning her the nickname "Grey Lady". Fanny subconsciously re-enacts her death nightly at 3am - until Julian alters a clock so she does it a few hours later, meaning her scream instead serves as a morning alarm call. Fanny might be starchy and pompous, but she shows her softer side in her adoration of stuffed dog Dante and maternal pride in Alison. She briefly develops a crush on Mike after reading Lady Chatterley’s Lover, and has a secret affair with Humphrey’s body. As you do.

10. Mike

Alison's husband Michael Cooper (Kiell Smith-Bynoe) is a loveable man-child who always hatches grand business plans which never come to fruition. He initially believed the ghosts were Alison's concussed hallucinations but came to accept them, often trying in vain to communicate with them. He doesn’t like the idea that they can see him on the toilet, though.

His mum still buys his pants. He gets stuck on the roof with a hangover. He’s oddly obsessed with zorbing and stuffed bears. He’s sweetly jealous of Alison’s exes and worries about whether he’ll be a good father. A big-hearted charmer, if a bit hapless.

9. Headless Humphrey

Best Ghosts characters, ranked (3)

Laurence Rickard arguably has the toughest gig due to his dual role - not only playing Robin the caveman but also appearing as the head of Sir Humphrey Bone. The Tudor nobleman, we learn, wasn’t beheaded by royal guards, but accidentally decapitated himself after mistakenly being accused of his French wife’s plot to assassinate Elizabeth I. Poor old Humphrey often struggles with his body, dropping his head and forgetting to pick it up. Yet he’s surprisingly wise, often counselling his fellow ghosts or Alison. In some ways, he’s got his head screwed on.

8. Alison

Best Ghosts characters, ranked (4)

The show’s chief protagonist is Charlotte Ritchie as Alison Cooper, who inherits Button House from an aristocratic distant aunt. After nearly dying when Julian pushed her out of a window, Alison is suddenly able to see, hear and interact with the ghosts - much to her initial terror and their delight.

She becomes their foil and friend, while driving the plot with her mortal worries about money, life and love. She puts up with Thomas and Kitty’s infatuations, not to mention Mike’s crazes, and turns out to be a gifted artist and pianist. Little known fact: the creation of Alison’s character was loosely inspired by Danny Dyer, specifically his episode of Who Do You Think You Are?.

7. Thomas

Best Ghosts characters, ranked (5)

Flouncy Regency fop Thomas Thorne (Mathew Baynton) is the melodramatic poet who was fatally shot in a duel over a woman in 1824 - later learning that his opponent cheated and that he hadn’t died unloved, as he feared. Flamboyantly verbose, this tortured romantic falls in love with Alison at first sight (despite her being alive, married and a distant relation) and constantly criticises Mike out of sheer jealousy. He becomes a fan of Kylie, The Cure and Rachel-from-Friends, considers Lord Byron his arch enemy, and grows obsessed with the ideas of veganism and radio. Much to his chagrin, Fanny turns out to be a better poet than him. Damn your eyes, sir!

6. Mary

Best Ghosts characters, ranked (6)

Much-missed Mary Guppy (Katy Wix) was a Stuart-era peasant who was unjustly burnt at the stake after a 1612 witch trial. She’s soot-stained, smoulders when stressed and the living can smell burning if Mary passes through them. Mary might be timid and superstitious, but don’t be fooled - she knows more than she lets on.

She was close friends with Annie, while her close bond with Robin tipped over into gentle flirtation. Mary turned out to be a gifted filmmaker and herbal medicine practitioner, but believed swans worked for the devil, referring to one as "Lucifer's lackey". After she ascended to the afterlife in the fourth season, Robin poignantly named a star after her.

5. The Captain

Best Ghosts characters, ranked (7)

We don’t find out that his name is James until the fifth and final season, but the Captain (Ben Willbond) is one of the most affecting of the Button House ghosts. A stern, slightly officious, tidily moustachioed army officer who was stationed at Button House during the Second World War, he was heartbreakingly unable to admit his repressed romantic feelings for his lieutenant, Havers. Despite never seeing frontline combat, "Major-General Can’t-Sing" remains obsessed with the war and tries to organise the ghosts with military precision.

4. Julian

Best Ghosts characters, ranked (8)

"Order, ordaaah!" The most recently deceased ghost is Julian Fawcett MP (Simon Farnaby) - a disgraced Tory minister who had a heart attack during a scandalous sex act in 1993, hence being destined to spend eternity trouserless. To a limited extent, Julian can physically interact with the corporeal world - although usually only with one forefinger to push small objects or press buttons. He might be corrupt and money-grubbing, but Alison occasionally uses his moral bankruptcy for her own benefit. He’s secretly proud that his daughter grew up to become a Green Party MP, and adorably bonds with Mike’s baby niece. As Julian always says: "Family, family, family."

3. Kitty

Best Ghosts characters, ranked (9)

The goofiest of the ghosts is Katherine 'Kitty' Higham (Lolly Adefope) - a highly excitable, endearingly naïve Georgian noblewoman. As the only non-white ghost, some have speculated that the character is loosely based on real-life figure Dido Elizabeth Belle (played by Gugu Mbatha-Raw in 2013 biopic Belle). Needy Kitty becomes convinced that Alison is her best friend. She has repressed unhappy memories of her adoptive family, especially her abusive elder sister, preferring to remain blissfully ignorant. Soppy and starry-eyed, she adores dancing, romantic fiction and Grease. Hysterical in more ways than one. Just don’t entrust her with any secrets.

Best Ghosts characters, ranked (10)

Aka "Captain Cave-p***k" or "Budget Tarzan". By far the oldest ghost is a Stone Age caveman who lived on the land now occupied by Button House. Originally named Rogh, he was killed when lightning struck the tree he was hiding up to escape a bear - hence his terror of Mike’s taxidermy one.

Due to the manner of his death, Robin can manipulate electricity. He plays chess with Julian, speaks fluent French, loves eating "bum and chips", worships the "Moonah" and can be heard by living animals - a gift which comes in useful. Despite speaking in primitive broken English, 10,000 years of human history have made Robin rather wise and soulful. Even if he still gets excited by fire.

1. Pat

Best Ghosts characters, ranked (11)

"Oh naff off, yer wazzock." Patrick 'Pat' Butcher (see what they did there, EastEnders fans?) is the scoutmaster who died on the Button House grounds in 1984. As is physically apparent, he was shot through the neck with an arrow during an archery lesson.

This proud Yorkshireman loves Watneys ale, am-dram and Abba. He tolerates Thomas’s pretensions, patiently teaches Mary and keeps an avuncular eye on Kitty. One of the most poignant episodes portrays Pat’s “Death Day”, when his living family come to pay their respects.

Warm, friendly and kind, Pat is the purest distillation of Ghosts’ funny-but-touching tone, which is why he claims our top spot. He’s also the most reliably hilarious - as proven by the way actor Jim Howick can makes his castmates corpse with laughter just with a look. Oh, Pat. Every stately home should have one.

Ghosts is available to stream on BBC iPlayer.

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